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The Nurturers of our Lives
By Linda A. Annan

He shifts and she moves. He awakens from a nap and his beautiful lighted eyes search for something familiar. A sound breaks from his lips resonating feelings of crankiness. He rests in a stroller sitting in front of her in a train packed with passengers. Pulling out bottled milk from the side she tries to feed him, but his grumpiness turns into short, small cries even with food in sight. He extends his hand to be carried out of his seating but she knows it would be difficult to exit from the train once they reach their destination. The cries grow louder and his extended arms begin to move in frustration. Torn between logic and emotion, she gives in to the latter and picks him up. The cries die down in a few seconds and he wraps his baby-carrot-sized fingers around her ears and rubs his fresh smooth skin against hers. She feels warm inside and a smile breaks on her face. She whispers sweet little words to him and he responds with giggles and a drool.     

We seldom hear mothers share feelings about motherhood –the joy we, their children bring to them. Sometimes society puts a stomp on this voice by placing so much emphasis on the challenges of being a mother that it tends to dim the beautiful sense of euphoria that accompanies such a moment in one's life.

In this article we get to hear the voices of two women from different worlds; they share a little about their experience as mothers.

Roselyn Ajimati , a 37-year-old Nigerian mother of three: ages 9, 6 and 1 ½, is due to graduate in May 2007 from Nassau Community College with an Associate's degree in Nursing. She will be attending Long Island University for the next two years of her education. Here is what she had to say about motherhood:

“When my children are around me and my husband is around me, I feel like I' m the happiest woman in the world . ”

“To be a mother you have to take care of your children so that they [could] be one of the best students in school and be one of the best children in the world. And whatever you can do to make yourself happy as a mother, you do it, that is, taking care of yourself, taking care of your family...I believe that to be a good mother you have to lay a good foundation for your children.”

Ajimati adds: “My children are amongst the best students in school. And when they get good results, I'm a student too so I feel very happy to see [them] progress in everything they do. They participate in church activities and that's what I really appreciate. God is helping me and I'm helping my children too.”

Betty Cook, an American, is a 94-year old mother of two; she shares her experiences of motherhood:  

“I think it is having a friend whom you have had for many years. I think of it as having someone who loves you unconditionally, having somebody that you want to devote your life to, you want to pray for. I think it's having grandchildren to carry on the hopes and aspirations that you have as a woman in this world,” she says about the best thing about being a mother.

“I have such a loving relationship with the two daughters that we have. They visit with us, they care about us, they express their love and concern so it's wonderful to have somebody to do that for you. I think most of the things I have to say sound very selfish, I don't mean that. Because certainly there's nobody in the world I think I would do anything more for than for my two daughters.”

When asked about how she feels about being a mother, Cook says, “I'm delighted, it's great! I feel my life is fulfilled. I think it's one of the very best things that ever happened to me. I think that way your own fulfillment is extended because you live a little bit more outside yourself. You're living the life of the rest of your family. And I think that when you have children, you want to share with them.”  

It is almost every woman's dream to have children. Like Cook mentions, you become selfless by living a little more outside of yourself. Unfortunately, not every mother may feel this way once a baby comes into her life. But for those who do, it shows how much they need each other –mothers conceiving and nurturing children, and perhaps children bringing joy and life to their mothers.

From the story of the woman on the train, we see that although she may have experienced frustration considering the circumstances, her mood immediately changes when her son responds in glee. Yes, it is true that our mothers juggle a lot; and yes, it is true that our mothers have been selfless toward us. But we should remember that our mothers are as human as we are and they find joy in us –our moments of excellence, when we listen to them, make time for them and show that we care. Let us remember that our mothers need us as much as we do them, and we can use each other as a backbone in this interesting odyssey called life.