Friendship: How to be a Supportive One

Two black women in friendship laughing together

The power of true friendship is something the world has celebrated for years, and it’s no new knowledge that real friendship is indeed hard to come by.

Indeed, friendship is essential to human existence, and having supportive friends is also important. More so, good friends are described as the elixir to long life and good health. But how do you know you’re being supportive?

What is support?

Simply put, support means being a pillar when needed. Usually, people need support when trying out something new, going through a difficult situation, or just need validation especially when dealing with self-doubts.

How can one be supportive?

It’s not a Herculean task, but being a support system can be deceptively puzzling, especially in complicated situations.

To navigate around this, we’ve carefully arranged seven steps to help you improve your personal relationships and be that exceptional companion everyone wishes to have.

  1. Always provide a listening ear— Nothing beats having someone who listens while you’re venting without wanting to speak or interject, to provide solutions. Some people just genuinely want someone to listen to their problems without necessarily proffering solutions. So, next time a friend wants to vent, listen to them without interrupting, and ensure they have your 100% attention.
  1. Focus on them— As much as possible, try not to talk about similar experiences you’ve had when talking with your friend about their problem. While it’s okay to let them know you can relate, don’t shift the conversation to your situation/feelings. The goal is to be empathetic, not insensitive. 
  1. Make out time— You’ve often heard the saying “people make out time for whom/what they want, no matter how busy they are.” Making out time for your friends shows that you value them. Also, knowing that you have someone who’s willing to drop every other thing, just to run to your aid, makes the bond grow stronger

Outwardly focused

  1. Actively nurture your friendship— doing activities together help friends strengthen their bond and trust towards each other. Some activities you can do with friends are food dates, movies, concerts, spa dates, cooking together, exercising, etc. Doing these things together helps secrete serotonin, which induces a relaxed feeling when you’re around them. 
  1. Do something for them— it could be something as small as showing up at their function, or as big as funding their next project. Whatever it is, make sure it’s tangible and genuine.
  1. Always have an open mind— the essence of human interactions is to have an in-depth knowledge of the other person. As such, opinions, beliefs, etc. may differ. It’s vital to be open-minded during conversations with friends. This not only reduces conflicts, but it also opens you up to newer perspectives and knowledge. 
  1. Seek solutions with them— when people go through life issues, they tend not to be in control of their thoughts. While it’s tricky to offer advice/solutions during this time, it’s better to try and fail than not try at all. Overall, they’ll feel grateful that you made an attempt, at least.

With these tips, you can only implement and be better, not just for self or friends, but also to be a better human in general.