The early stages of marriage can be one of the toughest for a lot of newly married couples. Because for most, it’s usually the first time they get to live together and that means learning new things about each other they didn’t know before. For others, it’s simply difficulties with adjusting to their new reality: marriage. Regardless of the reason, the expectation is that you go into marriage with the desire to consistently nurture the relationship in order for it to grow. But this requires a special kind of work from both of you. And how do you go about it?
The new adjustment
There is quite a lot of adjustment needed in the first few years in order to accommodate each other. While this is expected of both, you must remember that the first person to start working on is you because you can’t change your partner. Once this is established, you’ll realize that a lot of your frustrations will be minimized. Take a step back and ask yourself what you can do to help you be more understanding of your partner in a particular situation?
Prioritization
Don’t allow your busy schedule to make you deprioritize your relationship. Prioritization can be difficult, especially when your attention is being pulled in all directions. But this is the time for you to be deliberate about your action if this is a challenging area for you. One first step you can take to start tackling this is by simply setting reminders for yourself to connect with your spouse throughout the day on specific things. For instance, if he or she is looking for a job or starting a new business, a call or text message while you’re away from home to see check on their progress can go a long way. What this says is that you’ve stopped what you’re doing to make time for them.
Needs and desires
It’s important to express your needs and desires with each other, but it’s equally as important to learn to do it lovingly and respectfully. Don’t attempt to express your needs when you’re upset, because it’ll likely come across as hurtful and will defeat the purpose of the communication. Once the two of you form the habit of sharing these desires often and respectfully, you’ll come to embrace it easily. (Read article: How To Effectively Communicate Your Needs In A Relationship)
Resolve conflicts
Don’t leave conflicts to hang and then move on. Even if you make up, they’ll come back to bite you. Learn to communicate effectively during conflicts and ensure it is completely resolved before moving on. A healthy relationship can do you a lot of good mentally, emotionally, spiritually and physically.
Marriage is like a house. You can start the construction with the right foundation but you must consistently maintain the building to keep it in great shape or else over time the neglect can cause it to collapse.