Love Language: What is it and how to Identify Yours

Black couple practicing their love language

Everyone has their own favored method of receiving love. Although some individuals may not be aware of the term, this is the basic premise of a love language. In a relationship, knowing your partner’s love language is vital since it allows the dynamics of the relationship to flow more effortlessly. In some relationships, however, the reverse is usually the case. How, one would wonder, can a partner’s love language be deciphered? If you don’t have a relationship but want to learn more about your love language, you may also wonder how.

It’s simple to figure out someone’s love language, but first you must understand the various forms of love languages.

Types of Love Language

While there are many love language types, they have been narrowed down to five love languages to make the notion easier to grasp.

1. Quality time and attention

Simply put, your partner enjoys being the center of your attention. It’s not a bad thing, as long as they don’t go overboard with it. Simple ways to nurture this include making time for them frequently, listening to them completely, not being on your phone when they’re around, and so on. They will feel cherished and adored by you if you do simple things like these for them.

2. Kind words or words of affirmation

Simply put, when you say nice things to them, they feel appreciated. It could be something as simple as complimenting them when they dress up or do well at something, speaking kindly even when angry, sending love notes or romantic texts, and so on.

3. Acts of service

This is self-explanatory, but it also indicates that when you do things for them, they feel valued. Simple acts of kindness, such as running errands for them, assisting them with a task or assignment, cooking for them, and so on, can go a long way toward demonstrating your love for them.

4. Physical contact

This does not exclusively refer to sex, though it is included. Cuddles, massages, and hand holding are all examples of ways to build physical intimacy. These little physical touches not only make them feel loved, but also provide them a sense of security.

5. Gifting

This is the most prevalent, yet it isn’t something that everyone enjoys due to how overrated it can be at times. Those who do, on the other hand, find that gifts makes them very happy. Most of the time, the intention behind the gift is more significant than the item itself. Gifts are treasured because they serve as a memory of your loved one and a physical manifestation of their affection for you. This doesn’t mean that all you have to do is give your partner gifts. You also have to combine the other love languages for a healthy, balanced relationship, since excessive gift giving could negate the other love languages and make the relationship seem material-centric.

Navigating it

With the explanation of the various types of love languages, you may be able to understand what makes your spouse tick in a positive way. It may also assist you in determining what your true love language is. This is critical since many relationships fail because both partners are unable to discern their personal love languages, let alone that of their partner’s. Knowing what makes you feel loved not only makes relationships easier, but also makes you a happier person in general.

You might find this article about how to effectively communicate your needs in a relationship useful.