Realizing your self-worth is the most important step in developing self-respect. I recently broke up with someone I was never really dating. It was a long time coming. After all, I wasn’t blind to the mountain full of red flags. But I, like a lot of other women, ignored the wisdom of our intuition for the sake of finding love. This is most especially common in women who were never really taught or shown what was and what is. Some women fall in love a little too quickly. They bombard the other person with much innocent love. For some reason, there is always that thought that love will solve all issues; love will change the man. He will come around when he sees how much you really love him. He just needs to experience the love of a good woman.
Moreover, because a lot of women didn’t gain the attention they needed to learn whatever lesson they had to learn through the age of maturation, they misinterpret the littlest sign of attention as love. If that statement triggers you, ask yourself why. A lot of people are too reluctant to observe their own behavior because it makes them genuinely accountable when they don’t change.
And so, we are easily accepting of breadcrumbs. We feel starved of love and attention because we never really experienced them from our parents. In this world of social media and technology, it has made loneliness an even more common thing. With our eyes glued to the screen, how can we ever make true, genuine human connections?
Have you ever noticed that a lot of women “glow up” right after a heartbreak? Perhaps this phenomenon is caused by the realization of her self-worth. She might, for the first time in a long time, or ever, understand how she doesn’t need to chase in order to attract love. Breadcrumbs to consistently draw her time and attention isn’t love. She is very much worthy of being taken care of, nurtured, and loved by another. I too am one of these women who received breadcrumbs. And I too was one of these women who found her sense of self-worth after conjuring the willpower to walk away from a toxic not-relationship.
It’s easy to settle for less because we believe the population of men is drastically reducing. With the closeness social media has built, it’s easy to believe that the men you encounter there represent the universal millions. You begin to have a sense of urgency to settle down because let’s not forget the push from your family and friends to find a man and settle down.
If we are being honest, the odds are almost stacked against us. But it is in the realization that you are much more than what society is making you believe that your light really begins to shine. It’s in the realization of your worth, your confidence, and your feminine magnetism that you truly begin to attract the right kinds of energy into your life.
How to recognize your worth?
First, place value on yourself before others initiate it. What do you have to offer? Find your strengths and allow them to be your guiding points through life and relationships.
Second, if a man truly values you. He would do anything in his power to make you happy, to give you his time, and to make sure that you feel loved and appreciated. To make a relationship work, there has to be an equal exchange of energy. If you feel like you are giving more than he is, then you most likely are, and that’s how your relationship may be for the entire duration.
And, when he says he doesn’t want a relationship, definitely believe him. It doesn’t matter how much time and effort you direct into building the relationship. Walk away.
Friends who talk you out of texting that guy, and who help you pump up your confidence and self worth are God-sent. Keep them. Love them. Cherish them.