On World Suicide Prevention Day, conversations about suicide should not only be about raising awareness. They should also help us understand what to do when someone we know is struggling. Sometimes, the person who needs help is not a stranger. It could be a friend who suddenly stops answering messages, a colleague who seems withdrawn, a sibling who says they cannot cope anymore, or someone you love who quietly says, “I don’t think I can do this anymore.”
In moments like these, it is easy to panic. You may want to reassure them immediately or say something that will make the pain disappear. However, the wrong response can make someone feel even more alone. The right words do not have to solve everything. They simply need to keep the conversation open.
This year’s World Suicide Prevention Day theme, “Changing the narrative on suicide,” calls on us to start conversations that can challenge silence, stigma and misconceptions around suicide. That change can begin in very ordinary moments, with a friend, a family member or a colleague who is struggling. Sometimes, changing the narrative starts with knowing what to say when someone finally finds the courage to speak.
Sometimes, Reassurance is not What Someone Needs
When someone says they feel hopeless, our first instinct may be to convince them that things will get better.
We might say, “Everyone feels like that sometimes,” or “You have so much to be grateful for.” Another response might be to remind them of all the people who love them.
Although these words often come from a good place, they can unintentionally make the person feel that their pain has been dismissed. Being told to look on the bright side does not necessarily make the situation feel brighter when someone is overwhelmed.
Instead, acknowledge what they are experiencing.
If they say, “I don’t think I can do this anymore,” you could say, “I’m sorry you’re feeling this way. I’m here. Do you want to talk about it?”
That response does something important. It does not argue with their feelings. More importantly, it gives them room to explain what is happening.
Take What They Say Seriously
One of the most important things you can do when someone talks about suicide is to listen without judging or immediately trying to fix the situation.
Statements such as “I feel like everyone would be better off without me” or “I don’t see a reason to keep going” should not be brushed aside as attention-seeking or dramatic.
Rather than saying, “Don’t say that. Your family needs you,” try saying, “You matter to me, and I’m here with you. Do you want to talk about what is making you feel this way?”
You are not trying to win an argument. Your goal is to understand what the person is experiencing. Taking them seriously also creates space for them to be honest about what they need.
Ask The Question You May Be Afraid to Ask
There is a common fear that asking someone directly about suicide could put the idea in their head. However, research does not support that concern.
NIMH states that asking someone if they are thinking about suicide does not increase suicidal thoughts or behaviour. In fact, asking directly can help start an honest conversation.
If you are concerned, you can ask calmly, “Are you thinking about suicide?”
It may feel uncomfortable, but avoiding the question does not make the risk disappear.
Should they say yes, listen carefully and stay with them. You do not need to have a perfect response. What matters is taking them seriously and helping them connect with appropriate support.
Listen, Stay and Help
Supporting someone does not mean becoming their therapist. Your role can be much simpler and still make a difference.
Listen without judgement. Let them talk without interrupting, lecturing or immediately trying to solve the problem.
Stay present. If you believe they may be in immediate danger, do not leave them alone.
Help them connect. Encourage them to speak with a mental health professional, doctor, counsellor or another trusted person. You can also offer to help them make the call or get to an appointment.
Help keep them safe. If someone is at immediate risk, seek urgent help and, where possible, reduce their access to things they could use to harm themselves.
Follow up. Do not assume that one conversation is enough. A simple message the next day can remind someone that they have not been forgotten.
These steps reflect NIMH guidance for supporting someone experiencing suicidal thoughts: ask, be there, help keep them safe, help them connect with support and follow up.
Know When The Situation is Urgent
Sometimes, a conversation needs to become more than a conversation.
If someone tells you they intend to take their life, has a plan, has already harmed themselves or appears to be in immediate danger, seek urgent professional or emergency help. Do not leave them alone.
It is also important not to promise to keep suicidal thoughts a secret. Instead, involve someone who can help keep the person safe, such as a trusted family member, healthcare professional or emergency service.
For situations that are not immediately life-threatening, encourage the person to speak with a qualified health professional and continue checking in. Getting support is not a sign of weakness. It is an important part of staying safe.
You Don’t Need Perfect Words
This World Suicide Prevention Day, remember that starting the conversation may be more important than getting every word right.
You may not know exactly what to say. There may be no obvious way to make things better. That is okay.
You can listen. You can ask. You can stay. You can help someone find support.
Sometimes, the most important thing you can tell someone who is struggling is simply this: “I’m here. Let’s get through this together.”
That is how we begin changing the narrative around suicide. We replace silence with conversation, judgement with compassion and isolation with support. Most importantly, we create more opportunities for people to speak up and get the help they need.
