Lately, in every newspaper or news bulletin there is an article about the clandestine revolution that has become rampant in our diverse societies. Nowadays it’s like a common way of life for all, both young and old. Men and women are dissatisfied with their relationships and marriages. Like taking up arms in a war, men and women are at war with each other by having ‘on-the-side’ relationships to satisfy their intimacy needs and make up for their tussles. And all this blame lies on men, as women often put it:”We have learnt from the best and we shall beat them at their game.” But is this justifiable or noble?
The era of healthy relationships and marriages seems to be getting extinct. Tying nuptials, lately, is just a societal formality; it is no longer a respectable personal effort. It has been tagged to just the need for conception, bearing children for longevity of a familial lineage. Love is overrated. What has love got to do with it anyway, small wonder!
Lately, the female folk are in favor of materialism and sexual prowess rather than love. To them love is overrated but a pair of Gucci shoes, Louis Vuitton handbag or the latest Mercedes model can come at a cost of only 10 minutes of ‘no strings attached’ pleasure. Services exchanged for goods. Women and girls alike lack esteem and have bought into this way of life since it is less complicated. For them, being in a ‘side’ relationship with a married man is having their cake and eating it. When enquired as much, all they say is “What do we have to lose?” Do they still blame men for this, for not realizing their self-worth? What happened to the days when there was the hunter and the hunted; did the thrill of the chase grow stale? Are women still blaming men, for being ‘easy’ prey? Listen closely to their conversations on this matter; it is a waste of time. Some will say if they do not play this game, they might lose out on this potential two -week fling.
In dysfunctional marriages, the oppressed woman responds in anger and denial. Emotional investment, the need to guard the overall societal positive reputation and the need for a stable home for the children begs for the woman to take it all in stride to save face. The shame of a marriage in shambles rests on the woman’s shoulders, given that society expects a woman to be the home builder. But who said it was so wrong to leave? Will women always bow down to the societal norms of managing a home or marriage, even when they are not happy? How long will they silently blame their unfaithful husbands? Till they pack their bags or catch a deadly virus?
Women were wired differently. In a woman is the spirit of nurture, kindness and care. She loves her man even though he batters her and engages in promiscuity left, right and centre. Ironically, to some women, that’s a sign of love. They interpret it as submissiveness. A battered woman packs only when there is a broken rib or jaw. Women need to realize when it is time to leave their emotionally distressing relationships and have a sense of self- independence.
It is time for women to rise up and realize their self-worth. Without necessarily starting a cold war and carrying placards to fight for their rights, they should be dignified to know which relationships are fulfilling for them and those that are not. Women should never stoop to that low level of lack of self-respect for the sake of material things which always have a high price to pay in the end.
Women should respect themselves and have a standard that does not compromise on their morals; this will impart in them the beauty of self- worth. It should stop being a blame game but rather a self-evaluation, then perhaps the faded bliss of marriage will resurrect in society.
It is anonymously said, “You only find true happiness when you realize your self-worth.”